Pygmalion · George Bernard Shaw · Act 3

Eliza: the gin speech

Characters
Eliza
Length
150 words, 1 min spoken
 
Female role
 
Comedy

The situation

Mrs Higgins’s at-home. Eliza, on her first outing in society, explains in perfect vowels why gin was mother’s milk to her father. The wrong content in the right accent.

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The text

ElizaNot a bit. It never did him no harm what I could see. But then he did not keep it up regular. [Cheerfully] On the burst, as you might say, from time to time. And always more agreeable when he had a drop in. When he was out of work, my mother used to give him fourpence and tell him to go out and not come back until he’d drunk himself cheerful and loving-like. There’s lots of women has to make their husbands drunk to make them fit to live with. [Now quite at her ease] You see, it’s like this. If a man has a bit of a conscience, it always takes him when he’s sober; and then it makes him low-spirited. A drop of booze just takes that off and makes him happy. [To Freddy, who is in convulsions of suppressed laughter] Here! what are you sniggering at?

Text: www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/3825. Public domain text from Project Gutenberg. Download the text

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