Kate and Petruchio: the first meeting

PetruchioGood morrow, Kate; for that’s your name, I hear.

KatherinaWell have you heard, but something hard of hearing: They call me Katherine that do talk of me.

PetruchioYou lie, in faith, for you are call’d plain Kate, And bonny Kate, and sometimes Kate the curst; But, Kate, the prettiest Kate in Christendom, Kate of Kate Hall, my super-dainty Kate, For dainties are all Kates, and therefore, Kate, Take this of me, Kate of my consolation; Hearing thy mildness prais’d in every town, Thy virtues spoke of, and thy beauty sounded,— Yet not so deeply as to thee belongs,— Myself am mov’d to woo thee for my wife.

KatherinaMov’d! in good time: let him that mov’d you hither Remove you hence. I knew you at the first, You were a moveable.

PetruchioWhy, what’s a moveable?

KatherinaA joint-stool.

PetruchioThou hast hit it: come, sit on me.

KatherinaAsses are made to bear, and so are you.

PetruchioWomen are made to bear, and so are you.

KatherinaNo such jade as bear you, if me you mean.

PetruchioAlas! good Kate, I will not burden thee; For, knowing thee to be but young and light,—

KatherinaToo light for such a swain as you to catch; And yet as heavy as my weight should be.

PetruchioShould be! should buz!

KatherinaWell ta’en, and like a buzzard.

PetruchioO, slow-wing’d turtle! shall a buzzard take thee?

KatherinaAy, for a turtle, as he takes a buzzard.

PetruchioCome, come, you wasp; i’ faith, you are too angry.

KatherinaIf I be waspish, best beware my sting.

PetruchioMy remedy is then to pluck it out.

KatherinaAy, if the fool could find it where it lies.

PetruchioWho knows not where a wasp does wear his sting? In his tail.

KatherinaIn his tongue.

PetruchioWhose tongue?

KatherinaYours, if you talk of tales; and so farewell.

PetruchioWhat! with my tongue in your tail? Nay, come again, Good Kate; I am a gentleman.

KatherinaThat I’ll try.

[Striking him.]

PetruchioI swear I’ll cuff you if you strike again.

KatherinaSo may you lose your arms: If you strike me, you are no gentleman; And if no gentleman, why then no arms.

PetruchioA herald, Kate? O! put me in thy books.

KatherinaWhat is your crest? a coxcomb?

PetruchioA combless cock, so Kate will be my hen.

KatherinaNo cock of mine; you crow too like a craven.

PetruchioNay, come, Kate, come; you must not look so sour.

KatherinaIt is my fashion when I see a crab.

PetruchioWhy, here’s no crab, and therefore look not sour.

KatherinaThere is, there is.

PetruchioThen show it me.

KatherinaHad I a glass I would.

PetruchioWhat, you mean my face?

KatherinaWell aim’d of such a young one.

PetruchioNow, by Saint George, I am too young for you.

KatherinaYet you are wither’d.

Petruchio’Tis with cares.

KatherinaI care not.

PetruchioNay, hear you, Kate: in sooth, you ’scape not so.

KatherinaI chafe you, if I tarry; let me go.

PetruchioNo, not a whit; I find you passing gentle. ’Twas told me you were rough, and coy, and sullen, And now I find report a very liar; For thou art pleasant, gamesome, passing courteous, But slow in speech, yet sweet as spring-time flowers. Thou canst not frown, thou canst not look askance, Nor bite the lip, as angry wenches will, Nor hast thou pleasure to be cross in talk; But thou with mildness entertain’st thy wooers; With gentle conference, soft and affable. Why does the world report that Kate doth limp? O sland’rous world! Kate like the hazel-twig Is straight and slender, and as brown in hue As hazel-nuts, and sweeter than the kernels. O! let me see thee walk: thou dost not halt.

KatherinaGo, fool, and whom thou keep’st command.

PetruchioDid ever Dian so become a grove As Kate this chamber with her princely gait? O! be thou Dian, and let her be Kate, And then let Kate be chaste, and Dian sportful!

KatherinaWhere did you study all this goodly speech?

PetruchioIt is extempore, from my mother-wit.

KatherinaA witty mother! witless else her son.

PetruchioAm I not wise?

KatherinaYes; keep you warm.

PetruchioMarry, so I mean, sweet Katherine, in thy bed; And therefore, setting all this chat aside, Thus in plain terms: your father hath consented That you shall be my wife your dowry ’greed on; And will you, nill you, I will marry you. Now, Kate, I am a husband for your turn; For, by this light, whereby I see thy beauty,— Thy beauty that doth make me like thee well,— Thou must be married to no man but me; For I am he am born to tame you, Kate, And bring you from a wild Kate to a Kate Conformable as other household Kates.

Re-enter Baptista, Gremio and Tranio.

PetruchioHere comes your father. Never make denial; I must and will have Katherine to my wife.